5 George Washington College Essay Examples by Accepted College students

What’s Coated

  • Essay Instance #1 – Journalism
  • Essay Instance #2 – Letter to the Creator
  • Essay Instance #3 – Honors at GW
  • Essay Instance #4 – Sustainability
  • Essay Instance #5 – Civil Discourse
  • The place to Get Your Essays Edited

George Washington College is a non-public analysis college greatest identified for its applications in worldwide affairs, authorities, public coverage, and journalism. Located within the coronary heart of Washington D.C., GW college students have an unimaginable alternative to realize first-hand expertise within the nation’s capital.

Due to it’s nice location and teachers, GW has change into more and more aggressive so that you’ll want a powerful essays to face out. On this put up, we’ll share 5 essays actual college students have submitted to GW, in addition to clarify what every essay did properly and have been they may very well be improved. (Names and figuring out data have been modified, however all different particulars are preserved).

Learn our George Washington College essay breakdown to get a complete overview of this yr’s supplemental prompts.

Please notice: Taking a look at examples of actual essays college students have submitted to high schools might be very helpful to get inspiration to your essays. It is best to by no means copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your personal essays. Faculties can inform when an essay isn’t real and won’t view college students favorably in the event that they plagiarized.

Essay Instance #1

What the Essay Did Properly

For a journalism immediate, the important thing to this essay is the construction and writing model, and this essay did a improbable job mimicking the model of a journalistic expose. Phrases like “Patel, age 17,” “she added, her intonation highlighting her enthusiasm,” and “in her phrases” make the essay really feel like an genuine interview. Writing in third-person may really feel unnatural, however on this case it really works completely in creating the specified really feel.

This pupil additionally took benefit of the open-ended immediate to really showcase a number of features of her persona. We find out about her work on the newspaper her analysis internship at AASPRIE , and the neighborhood radio she was part of. Though specializing in a number of extracurriculars in a single essay can generally change into too normal and overcrowded, this one is profitable due to the frequent theme of media and communication the scholar integrated in every paragraph.

The transitions on this essay are significantly robust as a result of they give attention to her curiosity in media. For instance, “When requested how she initially developed a ardour for communication and media, Patel contemplated and continued to recount the expertise that sparked her “infatuation” with types of media” bridges the hole between the paper and her experiences at AASPRIE. Equally, the transition between AASPIRE and the radio is communicated properly with these sentences: “‘It took off after AASPIRE,’ Patel acknowledged relating to her curiosity in media. As a younger Indian-American activist, she actively sought alternatives in media.“

What May Be Improved

This essay is already pretty robust, nonetheless one technique to make it even higher can be to incorporate extra descriptions of the scholar as she’s being interviewed. The essay begins off with imagery like “her finger tapping on the facet of a water glass” to speak doable anxiousness earlier than the interview and it describes her intonation and expressive voice to assist place the reader within the second. Because the essay goes on although, these descriptions get misplaced.

It will be good to see this pupil proceed describing her bodily and vocal options all through the essay so the reader can really feel like they’re there witnessing the interview. Particulars like “her eyes lit up on the reminiscence” or “her face broke out right into a toothy grin when requested about her expertise” would have made the essay much more participating in the event that they have been weaved by the piece.

Essay Instance #2

What the Essay Did Properly

It is a superbly written essay that’s fairly profitable for a number of causes. First, the scholar didn’t choose a mainstream writer like Shakespeare or Colleen Hoover. They selected somebody the reader may not essentially know, however that writer has a deep significance to them. As a result of this pupil picked their writer deliberately, half the work was carried out for them: the essay comes throughout as real and their enthusiasm for the ebook jumps off the web page.

One other constructive side is how this pupil explains the final gist of the ebook they discovered so influential. Sure, it doesn’t completely make sense to inform an writer the plot of their story, however in case you are choosing a much less well-known ebook, the admissions officers must get a really feel for what the novel is about. The road, “An empathetic tribute to race in present-day America, you tackled complicated a number of racial views of main characters by an overarching storyline,” is a succinct abstract that helps the reader of the essay instantly acquire an appreciation for the ebook.

Nonetheless, the scholar doesn’t simply cease on the one-liner abstract. They provide tangible examples from the ebook to exemplify the matters this ebook uncovered them to and the impression that has had on them. That is each an effective way to reveal how the writer moved you (for those who truly wrote a letter to the writer) and your mental maturity to understand the importance of smaller particulars.

The conclusion can be properly carried out as a result of it expands past the ebook to the scholar. Together with particulars about their ardour for media and their internships within the communication discipline as soon as once more demonstrates this pupil’s connection to the ebook, however goes additional to indicate how they’ve internalized story telling and it has change into part of their persona.

What May Be Improved

On the entire, this essay does an important job protecting each the writer and the scholar. That being stated, there’s one small error that takes away from the essay. Within the final paragraph, there’s an incomplete sentence: “drawing me to take part in analysis and communication internships, starting from.” For such a well-written and well-communicated essay, this error is tough to disregard and appears a bit of sloppy.

This might have simply been averted if the scholar had different folks learn over their essay earlier than submitting. Whether or not that’s a pal, guardian, instructor, or faculty advisor, getting an additional pair of eyes to catch little slip ups like this one is tremendous essential. Alternatively, this pupil might have simply minimize out “starting from” because it wasn’t actually essential to inform us the precise internships after already mentioning the communication discipline. Both approach, proofreading can by no means harm!

Essay Instance #3

What the Essay Did Properly

It is a properly written essay with a great construction. Each paragraph is concentrated and it’s straightforward to observe alongside and choose up key concepts. The coed additionally has a great grasp of their diction, making the essay sound skilled, however not misplaced in a excessive schooler’s vocabulary.

We’re given a pleasant background to why the scholar has chosen their space of examine: “I’m intrigued by the social constructions that govern perception programs, the coverage that enables society to operate, and the environmental processes that allow life thrive.” The coed additionally clearly demonstrates what they are going to get out of this program: “These cultivated abilities and international views will let me leverage skilled alternatives in media positions in change-making environments, from digital-media firms to NGOs.“

What May Be Improved

The most important drawback with this essay is the dearth of specificity. Though the scholar properly explains their pursuits and the way they need to develop, you could possibly just about substitute UHP with some other honors program and the essay would nonetheless work.

To ensure that this essay to reveal to admissions officers that this pupil truly needs to attend GW, they should embody particular particulars like courses, golf equipment, or professors and analysis alternatives which are distinctive to the UHP. Relatively than telling us “UHP’s emphasis on mental and tutorial stimulation fits my curiosity in discussion-based, tactical, and experiential studying,” they need to describe their pleasure at taking a category that takes college students to Capitol Hill to get hands-on expertise with environmental coverage.

Making use of this technique to each sentence—changing broad generalized statements with particular UHP choices—would make this essay a lot stronger.

Essay Instance #4

What the Essay Did Properly

This essay has a singular tackle the immediate that works fairly properly due to how properly it pertains to this pupil and their pursuits. Relatively than specializing in a historic second, they selected to take a future-looking strategy and clarify how they plan to vary the course of historical past transferring ahead. Demonstrating your skill to look to the long run is a vital talent in faculty essays, because it reveals you’re serious about making constructive change.

The coed additionally does a great job of connecting the subject to them with concrete examples. Sharing the precise documentaries that influenced them when “buying meals and clothes” and the “smokey ambiance outdoors [their] house” as a private connection to the wildfires are nice methods to reveal how environmentalism is on the forefront of this pupil’s thoughts. By together with these small particulars the scholar humanizes themself and legitimizes their curiosity.

Generally, this essay may be very targeted and cohesive. It serves as a great instance of how you need to dive deeply into one particular subject you’re captivated with—environmental inter sectionalism on this case—and totally broaden on that curiosity, moderately than making an attempt to deal with an excessive amount of directly. Anybody strolling away from this essay can say with confidence what this pupil’s area of interest is, a aim you need to all the time attempt to hit for every essay.

What May Be Improved

One factor this essay struggles with is the tone and diction. Using overly-formal phrases makes the essay really feel inflexible and pedantic moderately than pure and informal. Take the primary paragraph for instance:

“As I stood in a crowd of echoing voices on the Oregon Youth Local weather strike, I noticed. Our collective grounded me; our younger views have been essential as these affected generationally by the approaching local weather disaster.“

With the convoluted sentences construction and phrases like “Our collective grounded me“, the easy message of the paragraph will get misplaced in an online of phrases. This might as an alternative be much more easy, reveal the scholar’s genuine voice, and embody extra lively imagery in an introduction like this:

“The echo of 1000’s of voices demanding local weather justice rippled by the air. ‘No extra fossil fuels!’ ‘We deserve a future!’ ‘Local weather justice for all!’ The cacophony of chants blended into an exquisite refrain of younger voices combating for our future. I watched on in awe, amazed on the potentialities collective motion might deliver.“

Essay Instance #5 – Civil Discourse

What the Essay Did Properly

Some prompts are open-ended, whereas others ask you to be extra particular. This immediate falls into the latter class, by asking college students to write down on the precise subject of civic discourse — outlined as significant dialogue round a problem that creates change, new views, or deeper relationships.

This pupil does an important job of staying on subject and discussing solely civic discourse. They don’t get distracted by neighborhood service, management expertise, or something that falls outdoors of the immediate. They’re targeted.

Moreover, they reply the query. Whilst you ought to refill your phrase depend with private particulars, insights into your thoughts, and an outline of your values, when a immediate is very particular like this, it’s essential that the reader can simply establish your reply. For this type of immediate, we advocate college students use the “one-sentence check.” After studying your essay, might an admissions officer summarize your reply to one in all their colleagues in only one sentence?

Let’s strive it out.

Immediate: What have been the consequences of the scholar’s expertise with civic discourse?

One sentence: Civic discourse didn’t change their perspective, however helped reinforce the power of their beliefs.

This pupil handed the one-sentence check!

What May Be Improved

The aim of your faculty essays is to humanize your self to admissions officers. Whereas this pupil does a great job of describing their expertise discussing a contentious subject with a peer, that description stays comparatively surface-level, and because of this they miss a possibility to inform readers about their background, persona, values, and the best way they see the world.

Sure, the immediate asks what experiences you’ve gotten with civic discourse, however for those who learn between the strains, what admissions officers actually need to know is why you worth civic discourse. As an alternative of main with a factual sentence — “I engaged in contentious but civil discussions in Brown Pre-School’s ‘Modern Ethical Points’ course, the place I realized about 5 salient matters and exchanged perception with friends” — this pupil ought to have began with a narrative about why they have been drawn to taking this course on ethical points within the first place.

Equally, the scholar writes “our lecture and small group dialogue centered on Tyler Doggett’s argument outlined in ‘Ethical Vegetarianism’ elicited an extra understanding of the subject, and inspired me to extra deeply introspect” — which is a ‘what’ sentence. In different phrases, the scholar is simply telling us what occurred, and whereas that’s essential, what issues much more is answering why studying arguments, having conversations, and training introspection are essential to them.

The coed does attempt to give us a window into their thoughts after they checklist questions this expertise prompted them to marvel — “am I really outfitted to share from expertise? I felt like animal slaughter for meals is unethical, however does my place, as an omnivore, allow me to justifiably contribute in conversations?” — however in the end fall in need of their aim as they fail to truly mirror on these questions, and that reflection is what would give us true perception into their psychology. Merely put, these are apparent questions that anybody would marvel about — what’s going to set you aside is your solutions to them.

So, to summarize, we have to be taught extra in regards to the pupil. As an added bonus, if the scholar have been to include deeper private reflections, that will not solely train us extra about them, but additionally take higher benefit of the area given to them. 500 phrases is on the lengthy facet for a complement, however this pupil is just utilizing 319 of them — virtually 40% of the phrases are going unused!

Keep in mind, whilst you don’t must hit the phrase restrict on the dot (your actual phrase depend relies upon extra on explicit phrasings than precise content material), you ought to be inside 20ish phrases of it at most. School essays are already restrictive by their nature, so that you don’t need to voluntarily prohibit your self even additional by not utilizing as a lot of the area given to you as you may.

Additionally on a structural degree, the writing is a bit wordy and repetitive at occasions, significantly within the final paragraph. Final paragraphs are harmful as a result of college students are inclined to summarize. In an extended tutorial essay, that’s an affordable technique, however in a university essay with restricted area, you need to hold your readers engaged with new particulars by the very finish; ideally, they’ll even be left wanting extra.

Some fluffy sentences/strains elsewhere on this essay embody:

  • “Whereas I had not beforehand held a powerful standpoint on whether or not this observe is morally permissible”
  • “I struggled to resonate with their rationale, as my perspective on such ethics, and the context of my understanding, differed tremendously from the experiences that knowledgeable my peer’s perception.”
  • “Though I didn’t agree with this pupil’s argument, I listened actively and expressed how I appreciated their perspective; the scholar demonstrated what “the opposite facet” of this argument appears to be like like, and helped inform my complete understanding of vegetarian ethics.”

Ensure every sentence provides one thing distinctive to your essay. These strains aren’t precisely unhealthy, however they aren’t giving us any new perception into who this pupil is, as all three of them are mainly saying the identical factor: this pupil encountered a peer who held completely different beliefs from them. That occasion is even much less thrilling since, given the immediate, it goes with out saying that this pupil didn’t agree with their peer.

If you happen to discover that two or extra of your sentences say the identical factor, choose the one which makes the purpose most successfully, and use the phrases you’ve saved to sprinkle in additional particulars about your persona at different factors in your essay.

The place to Get Your George Washington College Essays Edited

Would you like suggestions in your George Washington College essays? After rereading your essays numerous occasions, it may be tough to judge your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Evaluation software, the place you may get a free assessment of your essay from one other pupil. You too can enhance your personal writing abilities by reviewing different college students’ essays.

If you’d like a university admissions knowledgeable to assessment your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped college students refine their writing and submit profitable functions to prime faculties. Discover the suitable advisor so that you can enhance your possibilities of entering into your dream college!

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